Wellbeing
The art of saying ‘no’ might be something we’re all trying to embrace in 2025. But putting this into practice can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re navigating the uncharted waters of parenthood. Where do you even start?!
Whether it’s expressing you’re not ready for visitors yet, carving out a few moments of downtime each day, or gently asking that unsolicited advice be held back, boundaries are essential for your well-being and your baby’s. You deserve to parent your way, and we’re here to help you find the confidence to set boundaries that work for you!
Why Boundaries Matter
As a new parent, you’re juggling a lot—physical recovery, a tsunami of hormones and emotions, sleep deprivation, and figuring out what your brand new baby needs. Boundaries help protect your energy, foster a supportive environment from the get-go, and make space for the kind of parenting experience YOU want to have. Without them, it’s easy to feel stretched too thin or overwhelmed by the expectations of others.
We asked followers of Happy Mum Happy Baby for their experiences of setting boundaries, and here’s what they said…
“We didn’t have visitors for 2 weeks, and even then, it was just grandparents. Best decision we ever made.”
“Before my birth, I was cautious of fueling the anxiety I had around birth. So I politely asked my friends to not to recount birth stories and stuck to my own research.”
“Had no visitors for a week and didn’t go out to visit others for a month. Just us in our bubble, getting to know this new little person, was the best decision ever.”
“I didn’t need the pressure of having people over while I was trying to figure out what the hell I was doing!”
The results are in: setting boundaries helps protect your time, energy, and mental health during a challenging and transformative time!
Common Boundaries for New Parents (and How to Phrase Them)
Let’s dive into some practical examples of boundaries you might consider, along with simple prompts to help you communicate them… either over text or in person.
1. Limiting Visitors
It’s okay to delay visits while you adjust to life with your new baby. One of our followers shared:
“Just yesterday, I decided I didn’t want visitors the first day after I gave birth. My mother-in-law wasn’t happy, but I’m glad I stuck to my boundary because c-section recovery is tough!”
Here’s how you can phrase it:
“Hi [insert name], we’re focusing on bonding as a family right now and aren’t ready for visitors just yet. We’ll let you know when we’re ready to welcome visitors—thank you for understanding!”
“We’d love for you to meet [baby’s name]! Could we plan a short visit on [specific day/time]? We’re keeping things brief for the time being so we can all rest.”
2. Health Precautions
Your baby’s immune system is still developing, and it’s perfectly reasonable to ask for precautions from any visitors:
“Hi [insert name], just a quick heads-up: we’re asking visitors to wash hands and avoid visiting if they’re feeling unwell. Thanks for helping us keep [baby’s name] safe!”
“One of our rules is no kissing [baby’s name]—please help us stick to this to keep them safe.”
3. Navigating Unsolicited Advice
Parenting comes with plenty of opinions, but you’re the one who gets to decide what works for your family. How you can phrase this boundary with loved ones:
“We appreciate your love and support, but we’re asking everyone to hold off on advice unless we ask for it. Thank you for understanding!”
“Thanks for the advice! We’re trying to figure out what works best for us, so we’re sticking to our plan for now.”
4. Respecting Nap and Feeding Schedules
Setting a routine for your new family might be a top priority, and it’s okay to make this clear to others:
“We’re keeping visits short because nap times are sacred for both me and [baby’s name].”
“[Baby’s name] feeds on a specific schedule, so we ask that visits be timed around this to avoid disruptions. Thank you!”
5. Communicating Boundaries with Your Partner
You can’t pour from an empty cup, and it’s vital to create space for rest and self-care— and that can look like setting boundaries with your partner too. Open communication about your needs and how they can help is key.
Non-birth partners may sometimes feel disconnected or unsure how to help, particularly if they aren’t involved in feeding. Setting boundaries can not only give you the support you need but also provide your partner with opportunities to feel more connected and involved.
You could phrase it like:
“Hey love, I’m feeling pretty tired lately. Can we come up with a plan for taking turns at night so we both get some rest? It’d mean a lot to me.”
“I’d love for us to stay consistent with [specific decision, like feeding or sleep routines]. Can we chat about how to handle this together so we’re on the same page?”
“I really need a bit of time to recharge each day. Can we figure out a routine where I can get 30 minutes for myself while you spend time with [baby’s name]?”
It’s never too late to set boundaries—whether it’s with your first baby or subsequent ones. Experience often brings clarity, and it’s okay to approach things differently the second time around.
One of @happymumhappybaby’s followers shared their perspective:
“I’m putting many boundaries in place the second time around. I wish I had done it for my first because the early days were ruined to a degree. There will be people who won’t like this, but tough this time!”
Other Boundaries You Might Consider Setting
While every family is different, here are more examples of boundaries that might resonate with you as a new parent:
- Quiet time during nap hours – Protecting baby’s (and your!) rest from interruptions.
- No unannounced visits – Ensuring visitors call ahead to avoid surprise drop-ins.
- Limiting physical contact – Setting rules like no kissing the baby or holding them without permission.
- Household help only – Expecting visitors to contribute, like bringing a meal or helping tidy up, instead of being entertained.
- Social media privacy – Restricting or monitoring what photos or details of the baby are shared online.
- No comparisons or advice – Asking loved ones to avoid comparing your baby’s milestones or offering unsolicited advice.
- Downtime for yourself – Prioritising time to recharge, even for just 15–30 minutes daily.
- Extended family expectations – Clarifying that your parenting style might differ from what others are used to.
- Feeding rules – Asking others to respect your chosen feeding method, whether breastfeeding, formula, or both.
- No pressure to ‘pass the baby around’ – Deciding when and how others interact with your baby.
- Safe sensory environment – Limiting overstimulation, like loud noises or bright lights, during visits.
- Scheduling flexibility – Rescheduling visits or plans when the baby is having an off day.
- No judgment of your body or recovery process – Ensuring postpartum recovery is met with understanding, not commentary.
Tips for Communicating Boundaries
Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first, especially with loved ones. Here are a few tips to make it easier:
- Be Clear: State your needs simply and directly to avoid misunderstandings.
- Use “We” Statements: This can make your message feel more collaborative. For example, “We’ve decided…” instead of “I want.”
- Stay Firm but Kind: It’s okay to repeat your boundary if someone pushes back—your baby’s and your well-being come first.
- Anticipate Reactions: Some people may be surprised by your boundaries, and that’s okay. You can acknowledge their feelings while staying true to yours.
What Boundaries Will You Set?
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about creating space for you, your baby, and your family to thrive. Whether it’s limiting visitors, prioritising nap time, or holding firm on social media privacy, remember that your well-being is important.
